There is a list concerning church trauma I am often asked about. Is it true, how should I respond, etc.? The list is antagonistic towards churches in a way that is both unhelpful and hypocritical. Rather than take on the list as a whole, I will be giving a response to each section. The biggest contention I have with the list is not that trauma doesn’t exist, but that the list is often a straw man argument or cover for one’s immaturity. Church is messy and a reflection of all the people in it. The format will be rating, the list in question, and my response.

The synopsis: Church is family

Serving in church is an obligation. Emphasis 2:10 makes that clear, as do other major sections of the New Testament. There is sacrifice in ministry and often you do not make what you are worth when in vocational ministry. Are there churches or ministries that abuse this? Absolutely. So why does the church move forward? Because the Gospel is of prime importance. Sacrifices should be voluntary and not mandatory. But as church is family, one aspect we need to strengthen is honoring one another. This aspect is often lacking in church cultures. At its core church is about blessing others out of generosity for what Christ has done for us.

The List: Service Abuse

• Not given a fair wage if you are on staff, saying it’s a service to God
• Guilting you into volunteering and that it’s your moral obligation to the church
• Church staff only having relationship with you to ensure you keep serving. If you stop serving, that’s the only time they reach out relationally

The Response: In a family, all serve.

The list on service abuse is further down in the lists against church because of trauma. Partly because it is a weaker aspect, but it touches on a few critical areas. Ironically this list occurs because of the next list on money and finances. The bottom line is that a church needs to operate in the theologically reality that we are family.

Admittedly family can be a flag for cultish behavior, and the concept can be abused. At the same time we cannot ignore Scriptures clear teaching that we are “co-heirs with Christ.” Ephesians makes it clear that in Christ we are adopted into the family of God. There is danger when a church moves from a family mindset to a business mindset. Such creates consumerism which is a cancer to the church. In a family all should serve and care for one another to the growth and health of the family. Church is not a spectator entity.

The problem with the list mindset is it focuses on matters where a church is unhealthy and prescribes it to all churches. A healthy church cares for people as much as emboldens them to serve. It pays people what they are worth or when unable is open about what they can provide. While there are churches who act entitled and abuse biblical commands, there are also congregations that are entitled. The entitlement mentality focuses on what one is owed rather than the blessing of what one can give. The entitlement mentality thinks “I give X so I should get Y.” A family mindset is “how do we use what we have to grow God’s kingdom and help those in need?” The spirituality of individuals will determine the health of a church in this area.

Accountability is a real issue. In interacting with de-churched people on this area, a question I often ask is “are they being toxic or are you avoiding accountability?” For many they are avoiding accountability and we work through that. Some were in toxic environments where no structure for peace making existed or followed. 

Generosity is the killer app for the church. Generosity in prayer, praise, partnership, play, purpose. God designed church and salvation to be free to bless others and help them be the person God designed them to be. Too often we operate from a scarcity mindset. We can’t do it all so we do none. One can be generous with little. Generosity is an attitude that we choose. To be generous is to be truly free. Entitlement is a prison.

”Give freely and become more wealthy;
    be stingy and lose everything.“ Proverbs 11:24 NLT