Why Kids Ministry: Part 2 (And most vital)

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The wonder of children

What’s that, Daddy?
~ Jadon

How often have you heard someone wish to be a kid again? Kids are the gateway to being a kid again. They are live novels in process. We get to be an editor, a writer, and a reader.  There is an infectious nature of kids ministry that the church needs, fresh eyes! The wonder of life is new to children. With the loss of newness we often lose the wonder. Serving kids brings back wonder.

What?
What is the question of discovery. It tries to figure out the uniqueness of an object.  Curious adventures of children take on names. Names answer what. It is more than a name. Kids delight as they can now say what so captivates their attention. Take sky, for example. It is the name of a massive canvas of wonder and adventure, from color, to birds, to planes, to cotton balls suspended in bliss, to the falling of snow on your tongue. Just because we know the name doesn’t mean we should stop asking what.

Why?
If a name were not enough, children remind us of the importance of philosophy, history and theology. They do not use such grandiose words, but those are the fields of study for a child. Simplicity is not the removal of complexity, just try to answer a child’s question of why. Why, a most simple question leading to the most intriguing conversations, amusing anecdotes, and cunning epiphanies. Answering why drives us to the most important aspect of learning, the inevitable ‘I don’t know.’ Just because we’re busy and grown up doesn’t mean we should stop asking why.

Jump up!
You know you want to! Now you’re feeling self-conscious, it’ll pass. Children don’t read into things too much. Yes, this is a result of being naïve, but not always. Children love delight, they love fun. The curse of sin made life hard. Children remind us of what life is to be and one day will be for sure: delightful, fun, engaging. So, jump up! Children do not take themselves seriously because play is serious work. Play is exploring possibilities, seeing what can be done, and just having fun. Play is not entertainment, that gets boring. Just because we’re self conscious and mature doesn’t mean we should stop jumping. (On a bed or couch is most fun!)

Hugs…
Kids understand what is most important. They understand that people matter most. Just because we’re adults with various responsibilities doesn’t mean we should stop looking for ways to bless others.

The bottom line:
Why kids ministry? Because we are forgetful. The crime of lacking a vibrant kids ministry isn’t the loss of a new generation. The crime is we have lost our own. Ask what. Ask why. Jump. Hug. And, if you forgot how, then ask a kid because that is what they do best. It is how kids disciple you and I. We cannot afford losing the wonder of life and the God who made it.

Why Kids Ministry: Part 1

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The Value of Children

A Child is a person who is going to carry on what you have started. They are going to sit where you are sitting and when you are gone, attend to those things which you think are important. You may adopt all the policies you please; but how they are carried out depends on them. They will assume control of your cities, states and nations. They are going to move in and take over your churches, schools, universities and corporations. All your books are going to be judged, praised or condemned by them. The fate of humanity is in their hands.
~Abraham Lincoln

I highly doubt a church will come right out and claim that children are not important to God. The adage is true, however, actions speak louder than words. It alarms me that only one out of four churches lists reaching children as a priority. The church, like the society it dwells in, does not value children. Note Barna’s transformation in his chapter entitles I mist the Ocean:

Yet somehow the wisdom and necessity of seeing children as the primary focus of ministry never occurred to me. In that regard, perhaps I’ve simply been a product of my environment. Like most adults, I have been aware of children, fond of them and willing to invest some resources in them; but I have not really been fully devoted to their development. In my mind, they were people en route to significance—i.e., adulthood—but were not yet deserving of the choice resources.

An audiotape of Barna’s workshop describes the reality of this problem. Barna was surprised at how many pastors called and asked if the workshop on children could be moved to a more “skippable” spot because their time was so valuable. Barna purposely placed the session on children in an inconvenient place for people to skip it, thus it confirming his findings.

The problem  will continue to grow
Given advances in medicine and the standard of living, the adult population is continuing to grow. 1993 marked the first year where there were more senior citizens than teens. This trend can be partially attributed to the millions of humans who have been aborted. As the adult population grows, the propensity to gear church ministries primarily to adults will grow. What can children contribute to church finances or church growth? The results of this attitude leave children largely on their own. The mere lack of role models for children points to this issue. Marva Dawn’s states:

What makes the battle so intense in the present world is that so much of life is becoming ambiguous, chaotic, fearsome, unmoored. Consequently, people cling more desperately to whatever idolatries seem to them capable of freeing them from pain, confusion, weariness, or meaninglessness. The powers function to twist such things as efficiency, money, or fame into the gods of our lives, and thus God’s designs for good are distorted, corrupted, and deflected into contrary purposes. Our neighbors in the world (and we, in spite of knowing better) wind up with the ultimate concerns that are trite, violent, enslaving or flimsy. These goals will never ultimately satisfy or repress our deepest longing; they will never alleviate our aching bone-weariness, satiate our galling thirst, or pierce our bitter darkness.

A generation that did not know
What happens when a society does not reach its young ones is disaster. Judges 2:10 states that “another generation rose up who did not know the LORD or the works He had done for Israel.” This is a very easy thing to do if one does not know God nor the things that He has done. With biblical literacy low, many 20-year-olds leaving the church, and church statistics are as dismal as the world. It is becoming safer to say that a new generation grew up that did not know God nor the things of God.

The bottom line
To have a lasting impact on the world one must reach people when they are young, when they are children. Jesus’ words carry more urgency today than ever. Not showing children the way to Christ is another way of hindering them. Mediocrity in the pew comes from lack of diligence in to the cradle. If the “kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these,” the church needs to give serious attention to reaching and equipping the emerging generation.  Millenials search for spirituality and significance may be grasping for the God they know to be there whom they were not clearly told about.

Dad Power: Prayer

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I love praying with my boyz just before saying goodnight.  Dads must pray for and teach their boyz to pray. We end our prayers with an excited AMEN! We joyfully talk to God, as we know He delights in children. There are three key things I always pray for them: they would grow into strong men of God, to be protected from all harm, and to be kept from the evil one.

Strong men of God
Asking God that He would save my boyz is not enough. I do not want fire insurance for them, my heart wants firemen! I disagree with the adage ‘boys will be boys.’ It is wrong. Boys will be men! What kind of men will they grow up to be? My boyz need to be the men God designed them to be. Regardless of their career, they can still be godly, but godly is not enough. I want them to be strong men of God. I desire that they can fully say God is my God, and not just my dad’s God. I pray that they would pursue God and the challenges He puts before them with all eagerness.

Protected from all harm
Sometimes I slip and say keep, but what is the act of God keeping or protecting? As a parent I don’t want to see my kids go through difficult challenges, but I know they will. I ask God to protected them because I don’t want to seem them defeated. My desire is my boyz will go head long into challenges and grow from them, not be harmed from them. My boyz will go through painful and challenging times. I pray they grow as a result, and not be destroyed or disheartened.

The evil one
Being a dad means I am in a fight against satan. He and his cronies gun for kids. It is no cliché when Jesus taught people to pray ‘and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.’ God led people into temptation, though He does not tempt. The Holy Spirit lead Jesus to be tempted by Satan. God did something similar with Job. Well, I like Jesus’ instruction. I ask God that He would not do that with my boyz. Their depravity is enough to get them into trouble!

The bottom line
A praying dad is essential. Life is hard. The only way to get through life is a strong relationship with God, not just for us as dads, but also passing that down to the future generation of men.

Are you special?

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I soaked in two ‘articles’ about being a specialist. In the first article, the end of 60 Minutes raised the question about the lack of family doctors compared with specialists. In the second article, D.A. Carson wrote on the trials of biblical studies. He raised the issue of theological scholars being too specialized and neglecting their study of other fields. The problem is not specializing but the loss of understanding the whole.

Look beyond
Often the ideas and solutions needed for your field are not found in your field. My dad made sure that I did not get ‘stuck’ in one thing. He wanted me to have a very broad and vast array of experiences to pull and learn from. This developed into a strong desire for learning and the ability to look at a problem from a variety of vantage points.

Read elsewhere
When interviewing various leaders in children’s ministry I asked what books on children’s ministry they recommend. They had recommendations, but without fail they all said the best ideas and books were not children’s ministry books. Read widely and read broadly. One conference a speaker suggested not reading everything in your field. Few books pass the test of time. Read those kinds of books.

Life is complex
The problem is not people specializing. Our culture and the vast sharing of information pushes that to happen. There are advantages to being a specialist. But, with every advantage there is often a disadvantage. The culture turned into multiple fragments. Life is a complex whole. Just think of all the news stories about unintended consequences from a solution implemented. Are we lost in the details as a culture?

Jack of all trades
We need Jack! We need people who have a broad understanding across multiple fields. They may be masters of none, but they have an understanding of the bigger picture. In thinking through the two articles and other past experiences, I agree we need more generalists, more “family doctors.” They may not be the best at fixing a particular part, but they help us avoid negative and unintended consequences from being too focused. They help us appreciate the forest and the broader work of art known as life.

Why not Wednesday? Play

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A professor told me clearly: “Play is a child’s job.” Well, really, its ours too. Think of it this way, how much did you learn while playing?  Take some time and answer these questions while thinking about how you can bring ‘play’ in your life:

1) What games did I enjoy playing the most in life and why?

2) What was my favorite toy? What adventures did I have with it?

3) What aspect of your job now relates the most to what you played as a kid?

4) Ok, what toy did you not get as a kid that you wished you had? (did you get it?)

5) When you played, did you ever think about the social, political, scientific, and job related skills you were developing? (hmmm…)

6) How many “problems” did you solve in your imaginary or gamed adventures?

Pursuing Learning And Yearning

To be godly or not to be, that is the wrong question…

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God or Godly Character? Is it a matter of balance? How do we address the fact of God changing the inside verses outward appearance and conformity? In discipleship and teaching there is a tension between these two.

Where we are at
Within the North American Church there seems to be a dichotomy between theology and practice. Such a focus tends to make church man centered rather than God centered as people focus on what is seemingly practical and ‘skip’ the foundation that sustains the practical. The high value we see for practical, application, “easy to do” gives evidence to this dichotomy. At the same time, I’ve seen dead orthodoxy where the Bible and theology are taught, but frankly it is dull and seemingly not applicable to one’s life, just tons of data. Theology is not a data dump.

Where the Bible points
The pattern we often see in Scripture is that as people encounter God (theology), their lives change (application). In Joshua chapter 1, God explicitly tells Joshua to know the law cold (theology) so he may be careful obey it and have success by following it (application). Paul instructs Timothy to be watchful of his teaching (theology) and his ministry (application). Theology at its core, its very essence, is encountering God. Encountering God demands that we change as we realize who He is. To separate theology from application is to create a dichotomy that does not exist in Scripture.

Bottom line
We act (application) based on what we believe (theology).

Perhaps if our eyes become more attuned to God and our relationship with Him, that correct behavior will follow. That is the pattern we see in Scripture. Your faith has healed you, go and sin no more.

Manic Monday: On planning

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When looking out the airplane window at the ground below, something popped out at me. There are these massive grid lines in the mid west. Then, as if to purposefully mess us up, God places this meandering river that totally messes up these neat and efficient grids. Maybe our grids are not so efficient? If you wanted to water as much land as possible, a meandering river beats a neat grid.

Sometimes its best to set our attitude to wonder and discovery as our plans often follow the path of the river instead of our nice planned and efficient grids. Look out the window and see what seems random but is still extremely planned out.

Look out the window.

(especially on Mondays)

Book Review: Built to Last by Jim Collins & Jerry I. Porras

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If you are involved in building and managing an organization, the single most important point to take away from this book is the critical importance of creating tangible mechanisms aligned to preserve the core and stimulate progress. This is the essence of clock building. ~ P. 89

A pastor friend highly recommended I read ‘Built to Last.’ I would echo that sentiment. The quotation above really encapsulates the book. To put it in other words, the book is more concerned about who you are as apposed to what you do. The visionary companies described in their book were more about who they were- their core ideology- then the products produced. Their great products were a result of their core ideology in action.

Building the core
The purpose and values of an organization is what is most essential and non-changing. It is the preservation of this core ideology that drives leadership development, products, adaptations, consistency and culture of visionary companies. These companies have transitioned through multiple CEO’s, economies, products, and culture shifts. Core ideology is the center of visionary companies, not profit nor product. The company itself is the greatest achievement. Preserving the core allows freedom to and opportunity to explore what the company can do.

Vision?
The greatest shock in reading the book was the un-central role vision played. Many of the leaders were not charismatic visionary leaders, though some were. In reading through the book everything went back to who the company was at its core. Growth of these companies normally occurred in one of two ways, BHAG’s or trying a lot things and keeping what sticks. The paperback version, which I read, had a chapter about vision, but this chapter still pointed back to the core ideology. Surprising fact from this book: can you build a dynamic organization without a vision? Yes. Without a core ideology? No. The book does not negate vision, but vision is certainly not the driving force, as the book almost arguing against it being the driving force.

Ministry value
The greatest ministry value from this book is to focus more on who you are and want to be rather than what you do. Values are discovered, rather than imposed, and a culture is developed rather then chosen. Attention should be given to the theology of what a church should be more than its actions. What a ministry does will have a greater impact if it is from its ideological center. As with any book, discernment should be used. The church is an organism not an organization.

A big key to the success of these companies was the preservation of its core ideology, particularly through multiple CEO’s. This is an element many churches struggle with. I have heard of too many stories of ministries declining after a successful tenure of a key leader. The draws attention to a much broader discussion.

The book
The book read ok and the stories were excellent. It did feel very choppy to me. The book is a report on a study and it felt like a report on a study. Things they pointed out were very well done, but the book could have been considerably shorter and communicated the same thing. While a worthwhile read, it was not the most enjoyable to read.

Bottom lines
Focus on living out and preserving the ideological core of the organization you’re in.
Focus on developing the culture and leadership of the organization you’re in.

Why not Wednesday: Be a kid!

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“Whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.” ~Jesus

We often hear the line “child-like faith.” Jesus uses children to teach about humility and faith. Other than the disciples, children are the only group Jesus blesses in his earthly ministry. Leaders in children’s ministry love this verse. (We love other verses too!) In watching my two boyz grow, I’m learning more and more that child-like faith is not about simple trust or joyous abandon. I’m also thinking that children as a model of humility is less about their status. Here is what my boyz are teaching me about child-like faith.

“Amazing!”
My oldest son when I brought (OK, dragged) our first real Christmas tree into the house, stood in complete amazement. The word he used: Amazing! My youngest started kicking and flailing his arms as mom held him in a way he could see the tree. It was big, it was huge. And, after all dad’s kicking, screaming and complaining about a dumb ol’ tree in our house, two boyz changed my heart (my wife gave me the “see I told you so” look). The little and big things are equally amazing to kids. Jadon had the same reaction to the ice machine, the moon, ice cream, toy trains, the list goes on. Kids get amazement. They get wonder. But, its more than just the newness my boyz eagerly seek amazement. Its wired into their DNA. The quest for amazement is a skill we lose or forget.

“Daddy! Daddy!”
Daddy! Daddy! Means the same thing as Jesus saying “Truly truly, I say unto you!” Its not enough for a kid to be amazed. When amazed, we HAVE to share about it. Whether its demonstrating a newly conquered skill, or some simple thing they discovered, kids talk about it. They have to. Discovery is the root of their joy. What is learned and enjoyed must be shared- except with a brother or another child. We’ll talk about depravity at another time. Kids talk. They share what is most valuable- their hopes, dreams, and mostly the little things of life. Its wired into their DNA. The desire to share is a skill we lose or forget.

MA-MAAAAA!!!
When it comes to being hurt, dad is second fiddle to mom. Kids get the ministry of presence. But, my boyz get mad if I’m not around, even though its mama they want to play with or hold them. Jadon grabbed my hand once, sat me down on the couch and then took my wife’s and took her to the choo-choo’s. When I got up to go to the kitchen, play stopped and Jadon looked at me. He did not resume until dad was back in the picture. Kids get that people are the most important thing. People are more important than the task or what is being done. And whether it’s being held, or just being near, kids thrive on presence. Its wired into their DNA. The importance of people is a value we lose or forget.

CHOO-CHOO’S! Train. Train. Trains!?
Kids are devoted. When they like something, they want more. And more. And more. You get the picture. But, they don’t just want it- they CRAVE it! Jadon cannot get enough trains. Gavin cannot get enough doors for him to open. They must have more. They celebrate what they love. They ask for what they love and they go crazy when they get it. What they love is bigger than life. You do not have to convince them they know it. Its wired into their DNA. Devotion is a value we lose or forget.

Child-like faith is being amazed at, sharing, being there for, and being fully devoted to God and the people He places in our life. Sure, simple trust and joyous are a part of that, but those barely scratch the surface. Children are not simple followers. They are much, much more, and we would be wise to re-learn the skills that were once a part of our DNA.

Three lessons from Apple…

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“Everyone in silicon valley was trying to be someone else…”
~Welcome to Macintosh

It is no secret that I’m a Mac. I watched Welcome to Macintosh, written and directed by filmmakers Robert Baca and Josh Rizzo, while my wife baked incredible delights. Expecting to enjoy the back ground story behind my beloved computer company, three big lessons stood out to me: 1) Be who you are, 2) Only take on projects you are passionate about and 3) Be dedicated to your strategy. These lessons are reflected both positively and negatively in Apple.

1) Be who you are!
A theme throughout the documentary was people trying to be who they were not. In Apple’s dark times, this was rampant. People in Apple were trying to be Steve Jobs, or some other key person. (It was also mentioned that its a Silicon Valley wide issue.) This theme really came out when discussing the future of Apple without Steve Jobs. The worst thing that could happen would be for someone to come in and try and be the next Steve.

Ministry touch point
One thing is clear: God designed you to be you, and ministry happens best when you are true to how God designed you! Focus on how God designed you. There may be similarities with others. There may be great ideas from others you can incorporate. But, the final question must always be asked and answered effectively: Who did God design YOU to be?

2) Only take on projects you are passionate about
A key quote from the movie: “When Apple really got behind a product, it did well, when they didn’t, it did really poor.” The story of the iPod demonstrated this point. Apple did not invent the mp3 player. Apple revolutionized it. Good design aesthetics and simplicity stand as pillars in Apple culture. The people of Apple also love music. The iPod revolutionized the mp3 market and music industry based on the merging of those two passions. Apple’s culture of innovation and passion drive the company, more so than the profit aspect. Its art verses business. It’s being verses doing.

Ministry touch point
If God is our delight, our desires will become/match up with His. If a project lacks passion, a key question to ask is: Is this what God wants us to do? (Sometimes the answer is yes, as obedience to His Word is another key aspect.) Passion is not everything, but it is what often will gets the job done. No something is not a negative. The power of no is a stronger yes. God gives us all 24/7 to accomplish His will. Our no’s are just as important as our yes. Go for the passionate yes, and be ready to say no a lot.

3) Be dedicated to your strategy
Innovation, simplicity, good design drive Apple. It is not a mistake that Apple developed 3 game changers: the personal computer, the iPod, and the iPhone. Apple rarely invented a concept, but they revolutionized it and made it usable. Apple’s success came about when they held to their core strategy or values. Again, its about being not doing.

Ministry touch point
How you get a job done is as important as what you do. Its a variation on the “Its the journey not the destination” principle. Understanding and articulating your values and strategy is essential to accomplishing effective ministry in the long run. Being creative is not always about new, but making something usable and best. Apple innovated, and their strategy centers on that. Innovation and creativity should be a result of who you are, and not the other way around. Its about being missional not program driven.