There is a list concerning church trauma I am often asked about. Is it true, how should I respond, etc.? The list is antagonistic towards churches in a way that is both unhelpful and hypocritical. Rather than take on the list as a whole, I will be giving a response to each section. This post is essentially the “table of contents.” The biggest contention I have with the list is not that trauma doesn’t exist, but that the list is often a straw man argument or cover for one’s immaturity. Church is messy and a reflection of all the people in it.

The synopsis: Engage but follow Jesus

Avoid being in a charismatic church and the lists largely go away. But, saying that I then violate “believe what we believe or go to another church” criticism. This is the incoherence of a deconstructionist position. Here is the problem: by what standard is a church abusive or not? I would add to this, by what standard is the compiler of this list bitter or not? If I call out sin I am abusive, but if I let it happen I am abusive. If I hold people to certain doctrine I am abusive, but if I don’t I allow abuse to happen… I’m abusive. Ironically, this list does that same thing, except what is the authority being appealed to?

There is one worldview and doctrine that has withstood the test of time despite everything being thrown against it. Only one thing has stood true no matter how many times people tried to block, burn, ridicule, argue against, and destroy it. As Isaiah said, “the grass withers, the flower fades, but the Word of God remains forever.” When calling out issues you need to point to the authority and reason behind such, or you become slanderous or abusive. I would submit that in most church abuse situations there is a violation of Scripture, including this list. But, a deconstructionist cannot do that because it means submitting ourselves to a standard rather than being their own standard. And there is the age old problem: We would rather be god than let God be Himself.

So with patient endurance we learn what we can from the criticism and see what the Bible has to say about it. For sure there are churches that have issues, gravely so at times. We need to acknowledge where people have been hurt and help with healing. We also need to be inline with what the Bible teaches. Rather than go by the list makers headings, I took the liberty to engage the question each list seems to embrace.

The List: Links for articles

• Is Christianity against mental health therapy?
• Is Christianity a purity cult?
• Is Christianity just fear mongering?
• Is Christianity just fatalism?
• Is Christianity exploitive?
• Is Christianity all about the money?
• Is Christianity all about judging?
• Is Christianity obsessed with spiritual warfare?

The Response: Learn and listen, but follow Jesus

We should assume there is something we can learn from someone. It is too easy to blow something off, rather than address the issues at hand. Church is messy and will always be so. This is why I often say that church is one happy dysfunctional family. While I have issues with the list of lists, there are opportunities to clarify wha the Bible teaches when engaging.

In walking people through returning to church or walking through deconstruction, be frank and upfront is helpful. Being nice and pulling punches does not work and often makes things worse. Christians of late have an odd obsession with one liners to quell deep arguments. The effect of not developing the life of the mind in many leaders is evident. The rank focus on pragmatism leaves a deaf ear to the philosophical questions people are wrestling with. Engaging with church is often painful because people, like you an me are not perfect. Add to this the lack of understanding the Bible, and I am not surprised this list of lists exists. 

In walking people through matters of faith it is not uncommon to have the epiphany that one is avoiding accountability, treating God in a way they would deal toxic, or they are bitter from someone hurting them. It is here in these discussions that we get a glimpse of what love is truly like. Healing and freedom come from the other end of the storm. We should help people navigate those waters.

In dealing with these lists I am combative and also understanding. I get church hurt and have been hurt by churches. Bitterness, however, is a prison. In church hurt I see the beauty of the Gospel, of what grace & mercy are, and I see the value of love. I would assert the value of love is more demonstrated by working through issues than escaping them. I have grave issues with the list of lists compilers, but those whom resonate with the lists I have compassion.

“Evil people don’t understand justice, but those who follow the LORD understand completely.” Proverbs 28:5 NLT