Remember why self-care is important, to enable you to serve and bless others. I am thankful that in ministry and leadership circles there is much attention to self-care through rest, training, therapy, sabbaticals, etc. In these conversations there I’m noticing a missing or an assumption of the why. In our quest for filling the bucket, we must remember what the bucket is for in the first place: To be emptied.

Mission & Values

When discipling believers or counseling couples, I often help them begin the process of articulating their mission and values in life. These elements help guide you in what to say yes or no to. Often our bucket gets drained because we pour our life out in areas that do not fit us. Our bucket is often dry because we do not live out things that make us complete or fulfilled. Life is a stewardship of the time, abilities, and opportunities God gives us. We should often revisit our life’s mission and values to clarify them and make sure we are pouring ourselves out in the right way.

Be tired!

Being tired is a good thing. Hopefully it is a sign that you are working and being productive. Pouring our life out in the right places takes work, effort, energy, and drive. Expending those resources should leave you tired. This means you are living. We rest and take care of ourselves in order to be tired again. That’s what a bucket does. We fill the bucket up in order to transport something to its next destination. If we fill a bucket up and never empty it, it becomes clutter or stinky. Sometimes our bucket may even need to be cleaned out to keep being effective. (This is what sabbaticals are for!) Being tired is a good thing because it means you did something. The bucket did its job. Fill ‘er up for another run!

Empty vs emptied

I am not saying the purpose of life is to be empty. The purpose is to be emptied. God fills us with abilities and experiences, knowledge and opportunities to bless others for His glory. When we live for others that will drain us, even those who are extroverts. That’s the point. A bucket is a stewardship to transport God’s goodness to another. If our bucket is empty, there is nothing to give. If our bucket is full of ourselves, well that’s nasty and the worst of all. God designed life to both fill and empty us. Seasons of work and sacrifice, seasons of rest and renewal. As the book of Ecclesiastes says, everything in its time. If you are empty, get filled. If you are full, bless others. But our purpose in life is to pour ourselves out for something bigger than ourselves. You can’t give what you don’t have, but we exist to give.

Haste makes waste

Remember as kids when we would do water challenges? We wanted to win the contest, but if we moved too fast the water would slosh out. Life is similar. If we do not steward our time and energy well, we can drain our bucket too quickly. This leads to burnout. There are times in life that require sacrifice. Our bucket will get drained quick, and we need to fill it up quick. It is messy, sloppy, inelegant. There are also season that just fill us up and we need to get a bigger bucket. A friend of mine was often running on empty. He was brilliant at managing his time well, but there were no bucket fillers. He didn’t have time for them. Time is only one of our stewardship responsibilities. We need to steward our energy as well. As a mentor said, live life with margins. Seasons of haste should be followed by a season of rest. Strive to live at a doable pace.

When our bucket shatters

Some events will shatter our bucket.This is why God says it is not good that man should be alone. Death, tragedy, disease can and will shatter your bucket. You will want to rush to get filled but the bucket is simply broken. It is ok for other people to carry you. To walk beside you when you cannot carry a thing. Things wear out, and death is a reality we all face. This is why we should not carry on alone. We need other people. Often in these seasons we see people emptying their buckets with the blessings and goodness you poured into them. We really don’t want to know what people think of us. When we do know, it usually means a bucket has been shattered. Appreciate those on the journey with you. Grandpa told me the problem with gardening is people often don’t stop to enjoy it. Life is fleeting.

Be discerning

Be sure you fill your bucket with things that matter. Significance, hope, people matter. Everything else is secondary. This is why your relationship with God is the most important thing. It helps you discern what to put in your bucket that you can pour into someone else. A friend struggled with his job. He was faithful at work and church, but he felt his work wasn’t significant. He designed infotainment systems for vehicles. “I build radios,” he said. “No, you build moments of worship,” I replied. “How often does a song on radio save a life, a person worships in the car, or God brings two together in love?” All work is honorable and significant. The fulfilling life is being the best at what God designed us to be. We can waste our life on things that don’t matter if we fill our bucket with the wrong things. But with the right things, we become good and faithful stewards of God’s grace.

What are you putting in your bucket? What are you pouring your life into?