Tag: manhood

You’re unique unless…

DSC_0057You are unique, unless you are a boy.
Then you are just trouble.
We say people should be themselves, unless you are a boy.
Then you are just trouble.
We say education should be equal, unless you are a boy.
Then you are just trouble.
We say people should be well mannered, unless you are a boy.
Then you are just trouble.
We say kids be free to play, unless you are a boy.
Then you are just trouble.
They say people should show courage, unless you are a boy.
Then you are just trouble.
So be unique, be yourself! Get well educated and fight for equality not wealth! Be gracious, be free, and live life with courage like we.
Just don’t be a boy.
And in halls all around, silent screams abound of mixed messages in ears that are quite unsound.
For a boy is a boy.

Faith & Family

DSC_0286Faith & Family is the foundation to our society and the solution for our society. Undermining these two critical areas will open wide the door to evil. In times of tragedy there is a resurgence in the valuing of faith and family, but there is seldom sustaining action to support them. This foundation needs to be reinforced.

I believe there should be no state church. Marriage of church and state proves disastrous. For the church, this became clearly evident in the dark ages. That said, complete removal of religious influence in the public square has not helped our society. In and of itself its a promotion of a religious view. What is lost by this push is the reality of the human soul. Quickly the value of life, morality and civility fall away. Secularism created in our country a narcissistic view of a person with no moral foundation and no purpose. The push to be oneself or pursue one’s dreams leaves a gaping hole in a person’s soul.

Secularism lead to a devaluing of life. While not popular to say, millions of innocent lives are ended each year. As a society we don’t mourn these losses, though we do debate to what extent such loss should be allowed. Millions of marriages, kids, ideas, art, dreams, etc are never given the light of day. A majority of these ended lives are for connivence. Single percent issues (worthy of its own debate) are being used to excuse 98% of atrocities. Either life is precious or it is not. Let us be honest, secularism lead us to value our own connivence more than life.

War on manhood
For at least two decades a war on manhood exists. While the news of late talked of a war on womanhood, I’d submit the opposite is true. We have undermined the role of men in our society and even paint being a man as problematic more than helpful. In the name of equality we undermine, subvert and destroy what is most critical, most needed and most lacking in our society: dads. Look at the crime statistics in relation to fatherless homes.

Privacy laws
Privacy undermines prudence which undermines parenting. It is increasingly difficult for parents to get information about their children, and yet they’re still responsible for them. From medical issues, to even school issues, the issue of privacy as a right isn’t protecting our children. It isn’t protecting marriages either. When we cannot make the wise choice because of privacy law, there is a problem. Further, such undermines the trust that is essential for healthy relationships and healthy families.

People are seeking their purpose in life. Post-modernism, which I submit is beginning to decline, left society with no bearings. The fruit of both secularism and post-modernism left us bankrupt. We think we’ve evolved given the easy access to technology, yet we’re backwards in our ability to relate to one another. Faith is the glue that holds a society together for faith speaks to the soul and to the conscience. This is something that government and education cannot do. It is also why marriage of church and state should be prevented, but not to the exclusion of religions from the public square. We must deal with our soul.

We need a resurgence in fatherhood. This includes healthy marriages. Most people don’t learn well stressed. Given the raging sea that is many families, is it a wonder we have an education problem? Dad’s provide the bearings and the foundation needed for success. Are there exceptions to this? Yes. But the exception is not the rule. Again, just look at crime statistics in relation to fatherless homes. I’d submit if there was a resurgence of healthy marriages and dads society will greatly change.

A solution
The foundation of faith and family is the solution to our society. This is hard for society to take for this solution requires submission, servanthood, love, endurance, wisdom, responsibility, and moral absolutes. This solution is hard because it requires work, it is messy, and it isn’t easy. It means a debate between what our laws state and what is truly beneficial & prudent for families. It means sacrificing our connivence at the altar of peace. The irony is it’s what we really want but we don’t want what comes with this solution. Faith and family have nothing to do with guns, yet it’s the crux of why we’re seeing the rise of evil in our country.

Manic Monday: The mirror

I brought Jadon to the barber for the first time last week. The barber visit builds pride in one’s son. Jadon sat humbly on the bench, a box of toys next to him. Given the new experience, he sat with his hands folded on his lap, looking at the men in chairs getting their hair cut. The sound to clippers, normally frightening to him, echoed softly. Jadon looks up at me and smiles.

“Daddy gets a hair cut, Jadon gets a hair cut.”

I’m called up and the routine starts. He watches me at first and then slowly discovers the toy box. He builds what he is: a train track for said track a train. This very important process explained to all in the barber shop. The older men and the ladies cutting hair all smile and delight. Rather than the exploits of the weekend shared, stories and questions about trains ensued. Then it was time.

With trepidation, Jadon climbed up the “high chair.” Like a cherub, the overly large cape adorned him. No smile sat upon his face. The buzz of clippers rang loudly in his ears. I held his hands, and he took the buzzing clippers. With a big sigh he looked up.

“Let go, I ok, Daddy.”

Instead of trepidation, Jadon sat up man like.The men talked, so should he. And, like the older men he observed, he didn’t stop.

“I love Mommy!” Daddy get hair cut, Jadon get hair cut. Our job… make Mommy happy!”

A moment of silence filled the room and he started telling people about family, Mommy, the treat to follow the hair cut, and trains of course. Jadon became part of the club. From being a cute, to trepidation, to another step toward manhood, such is the first trip to the barber shop.

Nearby there is a hair shop dedicated to children. The chairs are airplanes or cars. The place focuses on a pleasant experience to what can be a terrorizing experience. Kelly and I thought about the place for his first real haircut experience. I said no. I wanted a barber shop. Part to show off my boy, the other have him focus on becoming a man. I appreciate things focused on kids, but sometimes we need things that focus kids on becoming adults.

With risk comes reward. The event could be a moment of pride or a moment of regret. The risk ended with reward and pride. There sat my son take taking another step of courage. He further understood his job. “Our job is to make Mommy happy!” (Proverbs speaks to this often.)

Children are a mirror into our own soul. Jadon acted like Daddy. He got his hair cut like daddy. He ended the event like Daddy. “Ok, let’s get coffee, Daddy!” The mirror can show our faults, but it can also show what’s best about ourselves; where God still needs to work, and where God blesses. Which do you need to focus on this week?

(Especially on Mondays)