Tag Archives: culture

We have a dad problem, not a debt problem

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” ~Apostle Paul

Our society has a dad problem. Not a debt problem. Not a… name the issue… problem. We have a dad problem. If you look at crime statistics, school statistics, you name it, you’ll likely be able to trace it to a dad issue.

Why a dad not a man problem?
I think THE crucial aim of a dad is to develop his boy into a man, and to model for his daughter what a great man is. This involves being a man himself. This involves character. This involves being a romancer of his wife. This even involves showing how to get back up from failure. If I had to target one area to win the war on manhood, I’d start with dads.

Father doesn’t mean dad
The ability to cause a life to happen doesn’t make you a dad. Let’s define what a dad is: A dad is a responsible man who defends, disciplines, develops and loves on people. I say people because you can’t be one person at work and another at home. Consistency matters if we’re to develop our kids to be solid adults. Kids pick up on hypocrisy quickly.

The war on manhood
Our society lost what it means to become a man. This came from three things: 1) A consequence of an egalitarian view of the family instead of a complementarian view. 2) Men have abdicated their responsibility of being a man. 3) It takes good dads to to have good dads. Dad’s are the key to turning this around.

The example
If we want a model of what it means to be a man, Jesus is the best place to start. 1) Jesus stayed on mission. He pointed people to God. That’s how He rolled. 2) Jesus patiently pushed, taught and comfortable people. The disciples were a crazy bunch of dudes who often lacked faith and were about themselves. After Jesus rose from the dead, the 12 men acted as selfless servants. 3) Jesus defended people. Jesus sacrificially defended people. A man’s job is to take the hits for others.

The bottom line
Want to solve our debt problem, crime problem, poor problem, etc? Open the door to develop solid dads. Character, principle, compassion, romance, creativity, productivity and joy starts with dad.. For my Christian friends, great dads is the start to great theology.

PS… Thanks, Dad!


Civility is a marathon and we’re out of breath

On January 6th I wrote a blog piece on the need for civility: http://twoznek.com/2011/01/06/a-return-to-civility/ . It is my desire for my boyz to live in a world were ideas are discussed with proper respect and not vitriol. Given the shootings that occurred in Tuscon, AZ soon after the blog post I wrote this: http://twoznek.com/2011/01/11/civility-civility-where-art-thou/ . Civility isn’t easy. I appreciated the way President Obama put it when addressing those hurting in AZ:

“We should be civil because we want to live up to the example of public servants like John Roll and Gabby Giffords, who knew first and foremost that we are all Americans, and that we can question each other’s ideas without questioning each other’s love of country, and that our task, working together, is to constantly widen the circle of our concern so that we bequeath the American dream to future generations.”
~ President Obama.

Failing the Tea Party and the Unions
Statements by public officials and other leaders regarding the Tea Party are the furthest from the concept of what civil discourse is. Note: I am not defending, promoting the Tea Party, nor am I criticizing them in this post. The vitriol within statements regarding the Tea Party pales in comparison of the rhetoric that was scolded soon after the Tuscon shooting.  The rhetoric against the Tea Party is bigoted, caustic and beneath contempt for those holding office. It serves no greater purpose than feed hostilities. For those making such statements to promote or protect unions, it ultimately fails for it gives up the high ground

Beyond party
We see the lack of civility in both parties. President Obama wisely stated “If [the Tuscon shooting] tragedy prompts reflection and debate, as it should, let’s make sure it’s worthy of those we have lost. Let’s make sure it’s not on the usual plane of politics and point-scoring and pettiness that drifts away in the next news cycle.” Sadly we are currently failing in the area of civility. This isn’t a right vs left problem, it is a lack of discernment and wisdom by all of us. We the people are the problem.

The bottom line:
We need to catch our breath n the marathon that is civility. It is time for our leaders to reflect on the rhetoric they are using. They should exemplify civility. We the people should be careful with what we desire. Civility doesn’t mean being emotionless. It does mean we should accord even those we cannot stand proper respect whether deserved or not.


Manic Monday: iShock…

As an Apple fanboy (nut?) I was shocked to read about Steve Jobs retiring as CEO. Then, seeing all the articles pondering what Apple will be like without Jobs interested me. From a leadership perspective here is what I think…

Apple’s best days are ahead…
Enduring organizations hold vehemently to their set of values. The language used over the last decade from Apple centered on its DNA. Steve focused on keeping Apple’s values first and foremost. The saga around the iPhone 4 Gizmodo deal pointed this out greatly.

Apple figured out its culture
Culture leads long term where a person cannot. Apple returned to its culture and who it was. At a point where everyone thought Apple was done, it came back. Many companies have gone through this cycle. Ford is going through this journey.

Apple figured out discernment
Apple figured out the power of no is a stronger yes. This is hard for anyone to do. Learning to say no also sets an organization up to act vs react. Apple astutely states: if people don’t like it, they wont buy it. Apple gave realization that people really want quality & artistic expression.

Apple learned to take steps not add programs
Everything Apple did since ’97 propelled it to the next step. A key part was choosing to focus on usability vs speed & specs approach to development. In the computer race Apple was the tortoise as its 30% market growth over the last few years demonstrates.

Apple may not succeed
Qoheleth states one cannot control what happens after them. Is it possible Apple is Jobs? Yes. Is it possible that for other reasons not related to Jobs Apple will decline? Yes. But, it’s possible for reasons stated above that Apple may endure as well. And, we may suppose, that a day will come when another company will take the reigns of innovation and wow us.

The bottom line:
We cannot control what happens after us.


On current economic issues…

A Facebook friend posted this quote:

“There is no means of avoiding the final collapse of a boom brought about by credit expansion. The alternative is only whether the crisis should come about sooner as the result of a voluntary abandonment of further credit expansion, or later as a final catastrophe of the currency system involved.”
~Ludwig Von Mises (1881-1973)


Are we asking the right questions?

This TED talk raises some interesting questions to think through. A mentor of mine said: “If you ask the wrong questions you’re likely to come to the wrong conclusions.” Agree or disagree, the video gives us some things to thing through. A big one is: Are we counting the right things?


Why not Wednesday? Discovery

We are a nation of the frontier. In middle school I remember reading an essay defending that idea. Without a frontier our nation is lost. I wish I had the foresight to keep the essay.

Discovery landed for the last time today. I remember many people blasting the idea of funding things like NASA. Thinking of the article, we can’t afford not to fund the frontier.

Think of this. Most came to this country as a frontier. Once established, there was the West. Step by step our country innovated and discovered.

While we have over-emphasized the individual, we have also brought something else out: That we are free. As a nation our record isn’t perfect. We have grown, though. But, without a frontier, will we continue to grow toward our ideals of life, liberty and justice?

Discovery carried the dreams of many, as did the other shuttle. The program showed triumph and at the same time the frailty of humanity. Watch children at a space or flight museum and you’ll see what I mean.

The bottom line:
The frontier is key to enjoying God and His creation. In the frontier we test our limits and from it we learn and benefit others. It’s slow. It’s arduous. It’s dangerous. But, the frontier is key to who we are as a nation.


Hot Stuff: The Song of Songs

Song of songs is an incredibly important and needed book. I believe the book describes a young woman’s process to grown and maturity as she navigates the complexity of love, culture and who she is. The book helps us navigate the unquenchable fire of love.

Song of Songs is an incredibly hard book to interpret. There are many ways to view the book. The common evangelical view is the book is about Solomon and one of his brides.  I struggle accepting that view. Regardless of view, certain things hold true about the book:

1- It celebrates sex and love!
2- It describes sex and love as more than just procreation.
3- It demonstrates a potent respect for the love between a man and a woman.

Regardless of view on the Song, these things stay true. However there are certain things that always bothered me by the popular view that Solomon was the groom.

1- The picture of Solomon does not follow Deuteronomy 17:14-20. I find it a significant contradiction to use Solomon as the standard of romantic love. If anything, the book is a criticism of Solomon and the direction he lead Israel. The Bible celebrates love between one man and one woman. Solomon started well, but he failed miserably.

2- The book’s plot seems to follow a time-line. The common view that the wedding takes place in chapter 3 doesn’t seem to fit with the often repeated phrase “do not wake my love until he pleases.” The plot I would describe as the growth of the bride throughout the book.

3- The Bible celebrates modesty and quietness. There are two distinct descriptions in the book One of natural comparison and one of a flashy more urbanized comparison. The juxtaposition doesn’t seem to be more contrast than analogous. For instance, if Solomon is the groom verse 2:8-9 doesn’t fit well with 3:7. The contrast is too stark- a free running animal followed by a man being carried around.

The best handling of the book I’ve heard is by the late Dr. Colin Smith. He handles the book exceptionally well and gives clear direction on how to use it in our modern culture. Taking the time to listen to them would be fruitful.

Song of Solomon I
http://www.bbc.edu/chapel/archive/20040120_colinsmith.mp3
Song of Solomon II
http://www.bbc.edu/chapel/archive/20040121_colinsmith.mp3
Song of Solomon III
http://www.bbc.edu/chapel/archive/20040122_colinsmith.mp3

The Bottom line: Study the book, its part of the Bible and a helpful part on that!


Manic Monday: Death by adjectival hyperbole

Whispers are heard loudest in a world of shouting. In reflecting on how we speak, I noticed, for whatever reason, our over use of adjectives and hyperbole. In a world of increasing virtual experience, reality needs to get back in vogue. A good number of us, me included are guilty of death by adjectival hyperbole.

Let it be what it is
The best descriptions are honest and clear ones. Describe something for what it is. Conferences often use death by adjectival hyperbole. The nature of selling things is to describe it well. In such, we do things by ascribing radiant, epic, great and awesome adjectives on what may be just normal. There are times when grand adjectives are proper, and hyperbole prudent. All the time or nearly every time is not such a time. Describe things as they are.

Let history be the judge
Death by adjectival hyperbole is a vain attempt to preëmpt history. At a men’s conference I attended the MC stated: “We’re about to continue with some great and wonderful music…” It wasn’t. A few years later I attended a back woods church hymn sing. The musical quality of the group was lacking. However, it was the most profound worship experience I had. People who had little to nothing, no musical talent gathered to worship their most precious relationship, God. History judges by the substance of things.

Lets be who we are
Let your greatest adjective be you. In history, seldom is greatness manufactured or sought. Gettysburg was epic and a mistake. The Boeing 747 was a result of past failure and basically a hail Mary for the company. The Battle of Bastogne was epic, where men did their job despite being overwhelmed and under supplied. Flight 93 was epic. Grandiose adjectives are best used for grandiose events. The substance and character of a person is found, forged and displayed in adversity. An unknown person or event often influences people to do what is epic. Focus on developing who you are and being a blessing to those around you. This is how great epics form.

Musical interlude, an analogy
We live in a world of ‘shouting.’ Alan Bloom in “Closing of the American Mind,” discusses his issues with rock music. Historically, great victories and religious celebrations were the place for the style and energy of rock music. In essence he thought younger generations were celebrating when there is no victory or substance to celebrate. He was not arguing against rock music, rather demonstrating what he viewed as its proper place. Like Ecclesiastes states, there is a time and place for everything.

The bottom line:
Whispers are heard loudest in a world of shouting. When everyone shouts the virtue of shouting is ignored. Our culture is increasingly asking and trying to discern what is real. The buzz words of genuine or authenticity show this point as well. Shouting is a metaphor for death by adjectival hyperbole. We can be colorful and enticing while still being accurate.

Perhaps now more than any other there is a need for more precise speech. Given our capacity for creativity, we can be precise without being droll, boring or bland. In working on developing who we are perhaps God, in his timing, will allow us to form something Epic.

(especially on Monday)


Divided

Avoid…. Doom & gloom… The tendency when dealing with the church division is to get all critical or guilty. The Bible makes it quite clear that one day the church will be perfected and we’ll be ok. Rather than see a mess, let’s get together and put the puzzle pieces together. We really do have all the pieces!

Divided by age
A serious division I’ve seen in church since I started attending at 5 years old is age separation. There are huge advantages to meeting people where they’re at. There are huge advantages to kids being with kids, young couples being with young couples, etc. We often go to far. The issue with 20’s and young 30’s leaving the church is an example of the division by age problem.

Divided culturally by age
Each generation in America became its own subculture. Think about it. Each generation has its own style, music, language, literature, forms of communication, etc. Given culture’s push to move people into their niche, sub-cultures grow and multiply at a rapid pace. Society is overly divided and segmented. Who is going to bring life together?

Two dangers:
Division by age results in a breakdown of discipleship. In talking with pastors, there is often a break down of discipleship post high school. A man goes to Bible college and maybe seminary afterwards, but post graduation continued discipleship is not a guarantee. It’s almost as if the churches we grew up in handed off leadership development to colleges & seminaries, seldom hearing from them during or after our training. That’s just pastors, a very small segment of our 20’s & 30’s. It is the trend in other areas as well.

Division by age results in loss of perspective & importance. The church needs the energy, ideas, enthusiasm, and I dare say mistakes of youth. Equally, the church needs its seasoned saints to offer their wisdom, be the voice to tell us when we need to slow down and let God, to make sure we don’t forget that God really is at work. Many problems could be avoided by listening to the older. Refreshing viewpoints and challenges to continue growing come by listening to the young.

Two cures:
Retire retirement. An example: I wish every church could have a “retired” pastor who shepherds the pastor or pastors. “Retired” pastors have been there. They know what’s human nature vs a unique situation. They know the questions to ask. They have the sense to let things work themselves out or to get involved. Elder pastors can fill a need in churches: pastors need shepherding too. Retirement is heaven for saints. Until then, seasoned saints have much-needed work to do. We need them to do it!

Take seriously body passages. (Romans 12ff, 1 Cor 12, Eph 4-6) We are truly one body! We are one church. Church should be a place where life comes together. Too much division hurts the body. Brining the body together is an essential because it is the Gospel of Jesus Christ that binds us together. Affinity based groups are not wrong! We need them. Having everyone together all the time is counter productive as is the division mentioned. Viewing church as body needs both.

We need to view and operate the church as one body. The danger of focusing too much on affinity is it becomes what binds vs the Gospel. The danger of too much division is you lose. Judges 2:10 There arose a generation in Israel who did not know God nor the things of God. Where did the breakdown start? It ended with not teaching children, but it did not start there.

The bottom line:
Seriously, we have all the pieces to do incredible things for the Gospel. We cannot accomplish it divided. When one part suffers, we all suffer. Growth happens by what each part supplies. At the day of Christ Jesus, we know the job is done. We or the saints after us will get it figured out. The key is putting the pieces together, and that has never been more available than today.

The ideas and energy we need is with the youth. The road map to get there is in the hands of our seasoned saints. Perhaps that leaves the rest of us carrying the middle. It gives a different sense and feel to leadership and our “most productive years.”   Think of it this way: Can We be the hero? What if We is the hero? Is We what Jesus meant in His John 17 prayer? What would happen if We, the church, became the hero?


God really is the answer:

Peace, harmony, and righteousness can only happen through submission, forgiveness, and humility at the cost of control, fairness and honor. As humans we crave and fight for control, fairness and honor to get peace, harmony and righteousness. Often this fight is couched in the terms of fairness or equality. God pursues peace, harmony and righteousness through submission, forgiveness, and humility. We demand our rights, God gave them up.

Equal and Distinct
Father, Son and Spirit are co-equal and co-eternal, yet they do not function that way. They are equally God, equally in power, equal in their knowledge, ability: they are God, and they are one. The mystery shouldn’t be all that difficult except for our distaste for one word: Submission.

We hate submission because we crave control. We hate submission because we crave and push for our equality. In various discussions on equality, I wonder how people can push for their equality and at the same time fully claim pursuing Christ? In such a pursuit, one is pursuing a right that Christ did not pursue. Christ submitted.

There can be no harmony without submission. I am not addressing one area, but this concept holds true for marriages, teacher-student relationships, teams, organizations, etc. Our demanding equality often comes at the cost of harmony.

Fair or Grace
Fair is Hell. Life is not fair. We so demand fairness, but it constantly alludes us. Good people can make stupid choices, while evil people succeed. It makes no sense, it is not fair. Viewed another way, was it fair to God for Adam and Eve to eat of the tree? Was it fair for Cain to kill Abel, even after God warned Cain not to? Is it fair to execute a perfectly just man?

We scream at (or ignore) God because being who He is, He allowed unfair things to happen. Some even think God gains some sick pleasure at watching people suffer. Does He? No and in turn gives graces. Grace and mercy are not fair. God would have been perfectly fair in destroying existence after the fall. He didn’t. God did what we value above nearly all virtues, He did not give up. God did not reject people, people reject God. As we demand, so often, fairness from God, we look in the mirror and find we, again so often, are not fair towards Him.

Grace, Mercy and Reconciliation by their very nature are not fair. You and I may wonder why God is taking so long to make things right, we must remember something: In waiting God gave you and I opportunity to reconcile with Him. The only fair thing is for all to suffer. God waits desiring non to suffer. God did what was most unfair: He forgave, He provided a way out by accepting what He most loathes and cannot tolerate.

Two conclusions:
1) It seems to me the total of human History is God proving without Him there is only pain, suffering and chaos.  After all our efforts, we cannot escape our own depravity. Put ourselves in God’s shoes: If we wanted to create something and have a relationship with it, but at the same time wanted to give our creation freedom of choice, would we allow the chance of rejection? If we didn’t, did we truly give freedom of choice? If rejected, what would our actions be? What would the result of our creation be?

2) We want all the goodness of God without the accountability. The greatest ‘crime’ for man to accept God’s existence is the accountability that results from it. For the God of the Bible to exist, there then also exits an external standard we are accountable to. We run from accountability because it destroys another thing we humans desperately crave: control. Ironic that God in creation gave up control and gave us choice.

The Bottom line:
Perhaps the Biblical God is right after all. Humans abuse religion in the name of God, government in the name of justice, and reason in the name of science. We cannot escape that we have a soul, that we are depraved, and that all our progress leaves us in the same plight. We really do want peace, harmony and righteousness. We just love control, fairness and honor more. Interesting Jesus’ words: “He who desires his life shall lose it” and “The meek shall inherit the Earth.”


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